1.
Saturday, the 13th of this month, the tattoo shop my boyfriend Shane works at hosted it's first ever art show downtown during the monthly ArtWalk. It was his first ever show so of course he was nervous and excited but also proud as he has put in a lot of work to make sure he represented himself well. Everyone we knew would be there, including some people that aren't always easy for me to run into. I spent the afternoon fretting over vegan cookies and homemade hummus for the snack table (or whatever that's called in fancy art terms), what to wear, and how to hide my shitty new punk rock mullet from Shane's mom who would of course be there.
I'm not sure why me and Ms. Corrine are so awkward around each other. Maybe It's just that we're two totally different people from two totally different walks of life. Or maybe it's the fact that she loved me the first time she met me and then next day she was bailing me out of OPP in New Orleans for a possession charge on Halloween. In my defense, it was a tiny little bit of weed and we only got busted because we didn't want to drive back to Lafayette drunk so we slept in the car and Shane left the parking lights on. The town was saturated with Military Police from the recent hurricane and those 18 yr old turds had nothing better to do then disrupt our peaceful slumber.. long story.. funny as hell.. another time.
After the art show our band Blast Rag was to play a show at a nearby club with The Loosies (Dallas) and The Unnaturals (New Orleans), so the evening was to be a pretty intense one. On top of all the overloaded artistic scheduling, my childhood best friend Aja and her boyfriend Leif were in town visiting on their way to Alaska via Pittsburgh. Oh, and me and Shane were into the last stages of quitting smoking and drinking, before attempting a 7 day detox. Word to the wise. Do not quit smoking and plan a detox around a week of intense multi-tasking. You Probably won't follow through, or maybe that's just me..
The show was a total success. Actually I have to say it was the most people I've seen at an art show ever. My vegan cookies were a hit (someone else had the brilliant idea of making a veggie/hummus platter), Shane's youngest son only acted up a little bit, and Shane's mom was only a little weird. We spent the first half of our evening taking pictures, talking to friends, chasing children, Shane's and others, and all in all just enjoying good company. Shane's good friend Pookie and his Girlfriend Reggie even announced they were pregnant and added to the cheer.
Later at the show, chewing ice cubes, dieing for a beer, I found myself overcome with some strange emotions. At first I wasn't sure if it was all the people smoking around me triggering the cursed nicotine fiend in me, or the lack of booze making me nervous around so many people, but as soon as another of our good friends told us that him and his girlfriend were going to have a baby I realized what it was. It was my ovaries. Screaming. Loudly.
I never thought I'd be that person cooing at babies in the supermarket, or anywhere for that matter. I've been a fiercely independent punk rock chick for as long as I can remember and haven't exactly led a lifestyle that would cater to children, but for some reason I've always known in the back of my mind that I wanted to be a mother. Sometimes It's my hormones rather then my rational mind that control these thoughts. Lately, those hormones have been running wild and every time I see a baby it brings a tear to my eye and the desire to buy up all the onesies at the goodwill when I really went there for biker boots and VHS tapes.
Either way after the show I broke into tears, much to Shane's surprise and vented about how I wanted to have a baby too. And how it seemed like every one else's life was so much easier than ours and why why way blah blah blah. Actually I can't even remember most of this emotional outburst and maybe it's better that way. Shane looked confused and hurt and said that we could have a child whenever we wanted and he would be honored and didn't I already know that?
I can't remember all of things I said, but I know why I said it. Me and Shane have had a pretty turbulent relationship. Long time friends turned long distance lovers and then live in partners in a short span of time can put a strain on any relationship, but add to that a swamp of baggage that we waded through to discover our true intentions with each other and a wee bit of fear for the future is bound to happen. It's been complicated, but we're complicated people. It's part of the reason we love each other so fiercely. And now that the fog has cleared we can love each other for real. Faults and all.
On top of all of our personal drama, Shane also has two kids from a previous marriage. Ian (13) and Evan (5). They're great kids, but they do need a lot of love and attention from their dad, especially the youngest who is going through a "spririted" stage. Not to mention monthly child support to help out their mom, whom I've known and been friends with for as long as Shane. I always used to laugh at those people you read about in tabloids who have these massive families. Who would want that many kids? How can you take care of all of them and give them equal attention. And here I am pondering adding another child to this mix. Am I crazy?
Sunday we took Aja and Leif out to Chicot State Park and rented paddle boats and floated around the bayou for a few hours which boosted my spirits and made me forget Saturday nights mini-crisis. Actually, they enjoyed the scenery so much that they started discussing moving here instead of to Alaska. Hopefully they'll be back in the fall. On the drive home I fell asleep and shortly after we got home I hit the sack in the arms of my man.
Mondays I always work a double. In between shifts as grill cook at Cafe Vermilionville, a Cajun fine-dining restaurant (oxy-moron?) I usually go home and read, watch a movie, try on all the clothes in my closets, pluck unsightly body hairs, etc.. but not that Monday. I got a wild hair up my ass and went and bought myself a pregnancy test. Oh and what do you know. I'm Pregnant.
I'm not sure why me and Ms. Corrine are so awkward around each other. Maybe It's just that we're two totally different people from two totally different walks of life. Or maybe it's the fact that she loved me the first time she met me and then next day she was bailing me out of OPP in New Orleans for a possession charge on Halloween. In my defense, it was a tiny little bit of weed and we only got busted because we didn't want to drive back to Lafayette drunk so we slept in the car and Shane left the parking lights on. The town was saturated with Military Police from the recent hurricane and those 18 yr old turds had nothing better to do then disrupt our peaceful slumber.. long story.. funny as hell.. another time.
After the art show our band Blast Rag was to play a show at a nearby club with The Loosies (Dallas) and The Unnaturals (New Orleans), so the evening was to be a pretty intense one. On top of all the overloaded artistic scheduling, my childhood best friend Aja and her boyfriend Leif were in town visiting on their way to Alaska via Pittsburgh. Oh, and me and Shane were into the last stages of quitting smoking and drinking, before attempting a 7 day detox. Word to the wise. Do not quit smoking and plan a detox around a week of intense multi-tasking. You Probably won't follow through, or maybe that's just me..
The show was a total success. Actually I have to say it was the most people I've seen at an art show ever. My vegan cookies were a hit (someone else had the brilliant idea of making a veggie/hummus platter), Shane's youngest son only acted up a little bit, and Shane's mom was only a little weird. We spent the first half of our evening taking pictures, talking to friends, chasing children, Shane's and others, and all in all just enjoying good company. Shane's good friend Pookie and his Girlfriend Reggie even announced they were pregnant and added to the cheer.
Later at the show, chewing ice cubes, dieing for a beer, I found myself overcome with some strange emotions. At first I wasn't sure if it was all the people smoking around me triggering the cursed nicotine fiend in me, or the lack of booze making me nervous around so many people, but as soon as another of our good friends told us that him and his girlfriend were going to have a baby I realized what it was. It was my ovaries. Screaming. Loudly.
I never thought I'd be that person cooing at babies in the supermarket, or anywhere for that matter. I've been a fiercely independent punk rock chick for as long as I can remember and haven't exactly led a lifestyle that would cater to children, but for some reason I've always known in the back of my mind that I wanted to be a mother. Sometimes It's my hormones rather then my rational mind that control these thoughts. Lately, those hormones have been running wild and every time I see a baby it brings a tear to my eye and the desire to buy up all the onesies at the goodwill when I really went there for biker boots and VHS tapes.
Either way after the show I broke into tears, much to Shane's surprise and vented about how I wanted to have a baby too. And how it seemed like every one else's life was so much easier than ours and why why way blah blah blah. Actually I can't even remember most of this emotional outburst and maybe it's better that way. Shane looked confused and hurt and said that we could have a child whenever we wanted and he would be honored and didn't I already know that?
I can't remember all of things I said, but I know why I said it. Me and Shane have had a pretty turbulent relationship. Long time friends turned long distance lovers and then live in partners in a short span of time can put a strain on any relationship, but add to that a swamp of baggage that we waded through to discover our true intentions with each other and a wee bit of fear for the future is bound to happen. It's been complicated, but we're complicated people. It's part of the reason we love each other so fiercely. And now that the fog has cleared we can love each other for real. Faults and all.
On top of all of our personal drama, Shane also has two kids from a previous marriage. Ian (13) and Evan (5). They're great kids, but they do need a lot of love and attention from their dad, especially the youngest who is going through a "spririted" stage. Not to mention monthly child support to help out their mom, whom I've known and been friends with for as long as Shane. I always used to laugh at those people you read about in tabloids who have these massive families. Who would want that many kids? How can you take care of all of them and give them equal attention. And here I am pondering adding another child to this mix. Am I crazy?
Sunday we took Aja and Leif out to Chicot State Park and rented paddle boats and floated around the bayou for a few hours which boosted my spirits and made me forget Saturday nights mini-crisis. Actually, they enjoyed the scenery so much that they started discussing moving here instead of to Alaska. Hopefully they'll be back in the fall. On the drive home I fell asleep and shortly after we got home I hit the sack in the arms of my man.
Mondays I always work a double. In between shifts as grill cook at Cafe Vermilionville, a Cajun fine-dining restaurant (oxy-moron?) I usually go home and read, watch a movie, try on all the clothes in my closets, pluck unsightly body hairs, etc.. but not that Monday. I got a wild hair up my ass and went and bought myself a pregnancy test. Oh and what do you know. I'm Pregnant.
Congrats Chrysi! Love the voice of your blog.. I would never have the balls to make one.
ReplyDelete-JCH
This is really well written. Keep it up.
ReplyDelete